The Power of Habit Pairing
Have you ever put off an arduous task for days, weeks, even months at a time? Take tax season for example. I have put off doing my taxes until the very last day, all the while feeling the weight of that task looming over me from January up until the deadline in April.
Even when I finally sit down to do them, I slog through it, dragging my feet the whole way. That’s until I found a new method of getting the hard things done with less resistance. I call it habit pairing.
Basically, all habit pairing is, is a method of productivity where you pair a hard task with a more enjoyable one. The idea behind the method goes all the way back to childhood, when your parents, teachers, or guardians might give you a reward for a job well done.
Maybe you got a gold star for finishing your homework assignment, or you got dessert if you finished all of your vegetables.
The reality is, despite all of the growing you do from childhood to adulthood, our basic brain chemistry doesn’t change all that much. The tradeoff of work and reward still lights up those dopamine receptors in our brains, making us feel happy and accomplished for a job well done. The trouble is, when you reach adulthood, there isn’t someone there anymore to pat you on the back, you have to become that someone.
Eat That Frog
Years ago, I read a short book that packed a huge impact. In Eat That Frog, Bryan Tracy outlines a deceptively simple productivity method wherein you get the biggest, worst tasks done first. The idea is, if your most dreaded task is the equivalent of a big slimy frog, then eating that frog first will be the worst thing you do all day.
Just like doing our taxes, scheduling an overdue doctor’s appointment, or meeting a big work deadline, that slimy frog will sit in the back of your mind until you just get it over with already. It happens innocently, too.
Picture this: you wake up and your to do list is a mile long. You figure you should start out by tackling all of the easy stuff first. You go through your email backlog, respond to some Slack messages, put the final touches on some easy projects. You look at the clock and your day is half done. Suddenly you are dreading the second half of the day.
If you’re anything like me, the afternoons are much harder. Your energy is depleted, you ate too many carbs at lunch, and now you’re thinking about a nap. You decide to let that ugly, slimy frog keep its vigil in the corner of your mind until tomorrow. You’ll definitely get to it tomorrow…right?
Instead of letting your frog get the better of you, how can you get motivated to tackle it head on, first thing? That’s where habit pairing comes in.
Turning Your Frog into Chocolate
Any Harry Potter fans here? My family and I got to experience Universal Studios Harry Potter World after decades of reading the books and watching the movies together and it was so much fun. One of our favorite parts was browsing Honeydukes, which we all left with a chocolate frog in our bags.
Most of us would never consider eating a real frog (unless you’re into the occasional fried frog leg) but a chocolate frog, we can all get behind. When it comes to productivity, you need to figure out how to turn your frog into chocolate.
When you habit pair, you combine something you are dreading with something you really love. In the case of my taxes, I make myself as comfortable as possible. I set up my laptop on the kitchen table, make a cappuccino with my prized Jura coffee maker, light my favorite candle, dish myself something to snack on, and play my favorite 1970s playlist. Even though I am doing something I hate, I am comfortable and surrounded by all of my favorite things.
Not only do I make the actual experience more pleasant, I go a step further by rewarding myself again for a job well done. Maybe my husband and I go for a walk in the nature park near our house or we go out to our favorite pizzeria to celebrate. Whatever you decide, that special reward you get for doing your most dreaded task feels so good!
How to Incorporate Habit Pairing
Habit pairing is not limited to just work productivity, you can apply this to your health habits as well! Recently, on a trip home to Arizona, I went on a hike with one of my sisters. She is in great shape and kicked my butt up the trail. When I apologized for stopping so much, she said, “That’s okay, I already got my workout in before you woke up!” I called her an asshole and we had a good laugh.
My sister is extremely focused when it comes to exercise and eating well, it just comes naturally to her. For me, I need a little extra motivation to get to the gym. A great way to get moving is to find someone you can work out with. Going for a hike with my sister is hard, but much more fun than going alone.
Here are some other ideas of how you can habit pair:
Work toward a big deadline at your favorite coffee shop.
Go to brunch with a friend after trying a really hard workout class together.
Put on an episode of your favorite cringey reality show while you do bodyweight exercises in your living room.
Spend time in the sauna after your workout at the gym.
Buy yourself a new workout outfit when you hit a personal record.
The Takeaway
Productivity is hard, and the hardest part is overcoming the very human desire to forget it all and take a break. If you find yourself struggling with getting to those items on your to do list that you find most daunting, give habit pairing a try and see if it helps!
There is no shame in catering to your inner child, the one who lives within you, constantly nagging about needing a break or wanting to quit when it gets a little bit hard. Put that inner child to work but then make sure to reward them too. After all, positive reinforcement will always feel better than going hard on yourself when you don’t meet your own expectations.
How will you try habit pairing?
